If you appeared to me in a dark room I would not be afraid
I would know your presence anywhere
I have dreamt you in a dark room
I know your aura
I have melted into your aura
I would not be afraid
For You Are Light
With you there would be no dark room
Here is what they say, here is what I mistake for...
My lust life
“You have a great ass.”
“Emm, that ass”
‘Honestly, your ass is great!”(as he cops another feel, another squeeze, another objectification)”
“You’re boobs are perfect”
My “You’re beautiful”
When I’m unclothed…
Like they have never eaten in their life and I am their first meal.
The mistake is
It is certainly attraction
Not from the heart
Lord knows that…
It is not for my heart, mind, soul
Because when you got an ittibity waist and round thing(s) in their face they get sprung
I am an object of lust
I am a desirer of love that does never come….
I need, want an explanation
When did I become an object of lust Rather than one of love…
I know I am sexy there ain’t no doubt bout it, but I have a heart
And it breaks with every objectification of me, her, and him
Cause there is more.
Somewhere along the way I was broken
Once an innocent girl with wild ambition
Now a love hungry fool
Dropping everything to wait foolishly for a love
Feared would never come
Oh, I want to believe the sun will rise tomorrow
Bring a new day
Nothings the same with each newly opened eye
Tongue tied and dizzy
I can never fully tell you all I think
You are everything
Dreams could be
I am afraid.
its going to be a long week of naps.
its a journey only a girl can make.
see you on the other side, i hope you make it.
i apologize in advance for the next 5 to 7 days.
just have chocolates on hand.
its not my fault you asked that irrational question.
my aunts in town, she and i don’t get along… she is emotionally draining.
l can barely go on.
The only thing keeping me going is that I have known you,
In my dreams.
The sensation of our bodies joining as one.
They are mine to cherish,
Mine to relish in.
I have woken to the sun upon your cheeks,
been graced by your beautiful smile, and fallen in love with your being one thousand and one times.
You are mine and I am forever yours.
I’d like to bring the jerk(s) back into my life.
The romance sans a guy is starting to annoy me.
I need to listen to rock music- because all the sweet/melancholy she broke my heart, he broke my heart, lets be in love crap…is making me depressed.
My brain is pretty much mush, expect for these word spurring out of me… but other than that I can’t remember what I got online for… and I know I am going to remember it as soon as I sign off line.
Does this happen to you?
I wonder if anyone else can relate to how mindless one can be at times. My parents let me watch too much TV, rather than get me to go do productive shit. I read…but not enough to really carry on a more than semi intelligent conversation.
Like today, this guy asked me what my favorite genre of literature was… and I said I don’t have a favorite I like to read what ever pops out at me and sparks my interest- which he replied to “oh, I took a course on 20th Century Religious literature,” the proceeded to name authors, and there I am the English major… with no favorite author, and no favorite genre to show for myself… and only recognized because I loved the Chronicles of Narnia series…
But, I do have a favorite literary genre- I love 20th Century Native America literature. Such as Sherman Alexie and Leslie Silko to name a few, out of all my English courses it was my absolute favorite class, because I am stuck on the idea of the majestic Indian - however, I realize they were just as cruel as the White Man, but for different reasons- their way of living was to live within their means- they did not see the need for excess the only used what they needed and thats why I appreciate them.
I need to order a book from Amazon for my mom for her book club! That is why I got online.
I’m doing this then signing off.
And often I come to be entangled in the foliage that matures in the garden.
With each new sprout I grow more twisted.
Lost in the vines spreading over the garden floor.
The greenery engulfs me so,
I fear I may become the garden itself,
And lost forever to the outside world.
Giving life only to excessive growth.
Any attempt to reach an egress prove to be my folly,
Only strengthening the garden’s hold on me.
Thus, I fear…
It has been me all the while;
And there can be no exodus from the garden.
For I am the keeper,
Cultivator of my own exile.